With women in business accounting for only 29% of C-Suite positions, underrepresentation in leadership roles is a persistent challenge.
This imbalance often leads to feelings of isolation and disconnection, especially in industries traditionally dominated by men, such as tech, finance, and engineering.
Whether it’s deals being made on the golf course or conversations revolving around sports, cars, or other topics that may not naturally resonate, it’s easy to feel excluded from the informal networks that drive professional advancement.
But the solution isn’t about trying to fit into these spaces by adopting new hobbies you have no interest in. It’s about strategically finding common ground and discovering the deeper connections that already exist.
In this article, we’ll examine the impact of the Likability Bias, and explore six ways women in business can uncover common ground, build influence, and strengthen their networks.
What Is the Likeability Bias and How Does It Affect Women in Business?
If you’ve followed Sheryl Sandberg’s “Lean In” campaign, you might be familiar with the term Likeability Bias – and its impact on women in business.
Unlike men, where success and likeability are positively correlated, women in business often experience the opposite. The more successful they become, the less they are liked by both men and women.
This bias stems from deep-rooted expectations – men are expected to be assertive, while women are expected to be kind. When women in business lead with confidence, they are often seen as “too aggressive” or “political,” whereas men displaying the same traits are rewarded.
So, how can women in business overcome this bias and build influence? By finding and leveraging common ground to cultivate authentic, lasting relationships.
The Power of Finding Common Ground
Psychology teaches us that likeability is deeply tied to familiarity and shared experiences.
We are wired to gravitate toward those who share our experiences, values, and perspectives – even in subtle ways.
Something fascinating happens in our brains when we discover common ground. Our subconscious signals, “I am like you,” which, in turn, translates to “I like you.”
This principle applies not just in professional settings, but also in your personal life (i.e. what personal interests or passions do you share?). Identifying these points of connection strengthens relationships in ways that feel effortless and authentic.
When people like you, they are more likely to support you, advocate for you, and send relevant and meaningful opportunities your way.
In short, mastering the art of finding common ground can dramatically shift the balance in your favor.
6 Steps for Women in Business to Find Common Ground
The obvious question for women in business is “What should you do when you feel like you have little in common with those around you?”
To answer that question, here are 6 actionable steps we recommend to help you break past the disconnect, build genuine relationships, and expand your influence in any professional setting.
Step 1: Create a firm belief that you have something in common with everyone you meet.
The first step to finding common ground is shifting your mindset. Rather than assuming you have nothing in common with someone, start with the belief that shared connections always exist – you just have to uncover them.
That gives you a huge playground to uncover things you have in common. It’s just a matter of how willing you are to dig in deep and how skillful you are in doing so.
This belief is powerful because it removes a major mental roadblock: the assumption that you don’t belong.
Instead of thinking, “I don’t have anything in common with this group,” ask yourself, “What can I discover that connects us?”
Step 2: Stop identifying things that are different.
Our brains are naturally wired to notice differences first – a survival mechanism ingrained in us since ancient times.
Back when humans lived in small tribes, distinguishing between “us” and “them” was essential for survival. But in today’s world, this instinct can hinder our ability to connect with others, especially in professional settings.
To build stronger relationships, we must override this default thinking and intentionally focus on what we share rather than what sets us apart.
By approaching conversations with curiosity, and looking for commonalities rather than differences, you can uncover deeper connections.
Maybe you share a similar challenge at work, a love for problem-solving, or a mutual appreciation for Human First Leadership. These small points of connection can create powerful bonds.
By making this shift, you weaken the instinct to separate and instead build bridges.
Step 3: Identify what you have to offer as potential common ground.
In a busy world, we often forget how multi-faceted we are as human beings and the vast range of interests, experiences, and expertize we bring to the table.
To uncover these points of connection, we recommend a very simple exercise.
Set a timer to 5 minutes, and write down all the things you care about. These things can include:
- Personal interests and Passions you currently pursue
- Personal interests and Passions you pursued in the past (they never go away, they just go dormant)
- Professional interests (even if it’s not at the core of how you make money)
- Areas of expertize
All of those things will help you identify all the facets of what you have to offer people as common ground.
As a next step, take these notes and cluster them into themes. Most people come up with Sports, Kids & Family, Food & Entertainment, Travel, and Professional Expertize.
Try it out and see if that works for you. You’ll be surprised by the amount of things you had forgotten about.
The beauty of this exercise is that it won’t take you more than 15 minutes, if you stay focused.
Step 4: Aim for the easy common ground areas.
The best things you can find as common ground are those that are unique about you and that you are extremely passionate about.
If you find a fellow human who is just as passionate about it, you will instantly elevate your relationship to levels you didn’t think possible.
It has happened to us all before, but just doesn’t occur often. It’s simply not as easy to find niche passions with another person.
The way to get more comfortable with finding common ground is to lower the bar significantly.
Think about all the items we have in common that at least 50% of the people we know care about. For example, love of the outdoors, eating out, kids and family, reading, and combatting email overload.
These broad yet relatable topics make it much easier to create a natural entry point into a conversation.
Once the dialogue is flowing, you may uncover deeper, more specific connections – but starting with easy common ground ensures you’re never at a loss for conversation.
Step 5: Leverage common ground to stay top of mind.
Finding common ground is just the beginning – the real magic happens when you use it to nurture relationships over time.
The key is to turn these connections into ongoing engagement, ensuring that your relationships don’t fade after a single interaction.
One simple yet highly effective way to do this is by sending Value Payloads – relevant, meaningful, and thoughtful items of value.
This could be as easy as:
- Sending a link to an article, book recommendation, or podcast episode related to a topic you both enjoy
- Sharing a quick, personalized message like: “I came across this and immediately thought of our conversation – hope you find it valuable!”
- Making an introduction to someone in your network who shares a similar interest
This simple act keeps the relationship warm without feeling transactional – instead, it feels natural, relevant, and genuinely valuable.
These small, intentional touchpoints take just a few minutes of your day but can have a significant impact on your relationship.
Step 6: Use future verbal interactions to uncover more common ground.
Now that you’re in the groove of building meaningful connections, you can start going deeper to find more unique things you have in common.
Rather than keeping things surface-level, use future interactions to explore deeper layers of commonality.
For example, if you both enjoy travel, go beyond just talking about favorite destinations – ask about memorable experiences, cultural insights, or bucket-list trips. If you share an interest in books, dive into how certain ideas have shaped their thinking.
The more you practice finding these things, the more it will become second nature. When that happens, it’s only a matter of time before you realize you have lots of common ground to leverage.
Empower Your Assistant to Strengthen Your Most Valuable Relationships
As a leader, your time is one of your most valuable assets. But staying top of mind with key relationships – the kind that unlock opportunities and drive your success – requires consistent, intentional outreach.
The right executive assistant can play a pivotal role in keeping you connected, but they need the right guidance, strategies, and support to do it effectively.
That’s exactly what our brand-new Superpowered EA Community is designed to provide.
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A private Slack forum to connect, ask questions, and share advice
Exclusive EA Library content including actionable templates, playbooks and more
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Empower your assistant with the network, knowledge, and skills they need to help you expand your relationship management and create more opportunities – without adding more to your plate.
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